We had received so many well-wishing emails for Janice, however a point to note is that though we could forward the emails to her, she and some of her dim friends do not really approve of us doing this. This is because she felt that it made her look like an attention-seeker and trying to harm the adulterous pair. That's is understandable, because she is under tremendous stress now and cannot think straight.
But we cannot say the same for that small group of dim people around her. Oh well...
As such, please contact her directly (if you have, but we are not going to give out her contacts, so don't ask) and tell her how much you support her.
Although the online community is smart enough to realise that this is not a doing of Janice herself and thus she cannot be blamed, a small minority still felt that we are causing her harm. We do not mind being fucked, screwed or scolded, simply because that is the purpose of this blog from the beginning - to draw criticism away from Janice and let her recover slowly in your kind words.
So yeah, give us your harsh words, but save the encouragements for Janice directly.
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Monday, November 26, 2007
Gerald & Rowena - Now in Barclays?
It seemed to us, as per various comments and emails, that they had since resigned from Citibank and currently in Barclays.
We appealed to those who are in the know to please email us with confirmed details. You guys had been great to come back to us on that information. Updated accordingly...
Any further updates, kindly email us at mylittlenewhope@yahoo.com .
Appreciated!
We appealed to those who are in the know to please email us with confirmed details. You guys had been great to come back to us on that information. Updated accordingly...
Any further updates, kindly email us at mylittlenewhope@yahoo.com .
Appreciated!
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Selected Letters from Readers...
Janice
Life is very unpredictable...There are times when things go well for you and times when things just go wrong completely.
When life turns us upside down, we just have to face the challenges right on...going through divorce and separation is
one of the most painful experience in life...but u can and have the ability to turn this sad event around and make yourself
stronger...
For u, u need to rebuild your life quickly...if you can channel your enrgy to your little girl, slowly you will forget your ex-hubby..
Take over control of your life, you have a choice, join a the club for single mother for a start, although your family will provide
the immediate support..the pain will go away slowly...make your little girl your source of strength.. always find the company
of your mum and sisters, dun stay alone...get all the comedies and watch..read baby books..lots of things to be busy about..
Once you are out of the blues, u can start planning for the future.....
Do write to me if u can...I am also available at nos below..
Take care...
--
Warm Regards
Victor Leong
Papua New Guinea
-----------------------------------------------------
Janice
I fully understand what you are going through right now.
In fact not too long ago, should I say exactly 2 yrs ago, I was in a similar situation as you. Except the fact that I may not be pregnant then.
However, at that point of time, my husband whom I have ROM since 1995 and held our wedding in 2002 had already strayed for almost a year with the other woman. Yet time and time again, like your ex-husband, he denied everything when I questioned him about them.
I would say God has eyes. Everytime the more he tried to deny, the more lies of his I would come across and the more he would be exposed.
We have been trying for a kid since we ROM but i guessed God really has plans, He knew something like that would happened. We never had any.....Yes, I dont deny the fact that he has been very nice to me. He adores me and pampers me till sky high. But when the truth sets in, we have dropped from heavens high right to the bottom of hell......
I just wanted to tell you know.....like you mentioned in your blog......You are now living for the sake of your little princess, she will be your source of living....And most important of all, you still have many loved ones around you that would continue to support and love you no matter what happened.
I fully understand why you decide to lock your blog....The blog is just another avenue for you to vent it all out when you are all alone and everything starts to hit you off once again.
I hate to say this, but the pain wont go off so easily. In fact till tdy, whenever I think back my heart still aches. Why must he do that to me and what was he thinking at that point of time? Am I not even anywhere comparable to the other woman whom he only knew for that few months?
Not forgetting I was still consoling other friends whom were going through the same plight when I was in such dreadful state myself. I asked myself and God where did I find the strength to help friends when I, myself wasnt even able to help myself out of it.....But I survived...Hence I strongly believe you can make it too.....Esp for the little princess that's is on her way......
The only different between you and I now is that.........
Yes, he turned around and it also took a lot of me to accept him back.
Just like you, I am also pregnant and due in Jan 08 as well.
Fully understand the pregnancy roller coaster ride that you are going through.
I maybe just a little luckier than you are at this point of time, but I fully understand the pain that you are facing at the same time.
Hence if you really need a listening ear....
I can be reached at this email
In the meanwhile, pls take care......
"PK" (reader's name is not revealed as permission not given)
Singapore
Life is very unpredictable...There are times when things go well for you and times when things just go wrong completely.
When life turns us upside down, we just have to face the challenges right on...going through divorce and separation is
one of the most painful experience in life...but u can and have the ability to turn this sad event around and make yourself
stronger...
For u, u need to rebuild your life quickly...if you can channel your enrgy to your little girl, slowly you will forget your ex-hubby..
Take over control of your life, you have a choice, join a the club for single mother for a start, although your family will provide
the immediate support..the pain will go away slowly...make your little girl your source of strength.. always find the company
of your mum and sisters, dun stay alone...get all the comedies and watch..read baby books..lots of things to be busy about..
Once you are out of the blues, u can start planning for the future.....
Do write to me if u can...I am also available at nos below..
Take care...
--
Warm Regards
Victor Leong
Papua New Guinea
-----------------------------------------------------
Janice
I fully understand what you are going through right now.
In fact not too long ago, should I say exactly 2 yrs ago, I was in a similar situation as you. Except the fact that I may not be pregnant then.
However, at that point of time, my husband whom I have ROM since 1995 and held our wedding in 2002 had already strayed for almost a year with the other woman. Yet time and time again, like your ex-husband, he denied everything when I questioned him about them.
I would say God has eyes. Everytime the more he tried to deny, the more lies of his I would come across and the more he would be exposed.
We have been trying for a kid since we ROM but i guessed God really has plans, He knew something like that would happened. We never had any.....Yes, I dont deny the fact that he has been very nice to me. He adores me and pampers me till sky high. But when the truth sets in, we have dropped from heavens high right to the bottom of hell......
I just wanted to tell you know.....like you mentioned in your blog......You are now living for the sake of your little princess, she will be your source of living....And most important of all, you still have many loved ones around you that would continue to support and love you no matter what happened.
I fully understand why you decide to lock your blog....The blog is just another avenue for you to vent it all out when you are all alone and everything starts to hit you off once again.
I hate to say this, but the pain wont go off so easily. In fact till tdy, whenever I think back my heart still aches. Why must he do that to me and what was he thinking at that point of time? Am I not even anywhere comparable to the other woman whom he only knew for that few months?
Not forgetting I was still consoling other friends whom were going through the same plight when I was in such dreadful state myself. I asked myself and God where did I find the strength to help friends when I, myself wasnt even able to help myself out of it.....But I survived...Hence I strongly believe you can make it too.....Esp for the little princess that's is on her way......
The only different between you and I now is that.........
Yes, he turned around and it also took a lot of me to accept him back.
Just like you, I am also pregnant and due in Jan 08 as well.
Fully understand the pregnancy roller coaster ride that you are going through.
I maybe just a little luckier than you are at this point of time, but I fully understand the pain that you are facing at the same time.
Hence if you really need a listening ear....
I can be reached at this email
In the meanwhile, pls take care......
"PK" (reader's name is not revealed as permission not given)
Singapore
Thursday, November 22, 2007
THIS IS NOT ORIGINAL MYLITTLENEWHOPE!
This is not the original blog of mylittlenewhope, but a rehash of what Janice had posted, and the details of the personalities involved.
Unfortunately, due to unknown reasons, Janice has locked up her original blog. However, we feel that the public, or rather the online community, should be aware of Janice and her plight, thus this alternative blog was created.
WE HAVE NO INTENTION TO HARM, HURT, DEFAME OR INSULT ANYONE; ALL INFORMATION ARE EITHER FACTUAL OR BASED ON OBVIOUS DEDUCTIONS. BESIDES ASKING US TO TAKE DOWN THIS BLOG, IF THERE ARE ANY ERRORS IN THE BLOG AND/OR INFORMATION CONTAINED HEREIN, PLEASE EMAIL US AT MYLITTLENEWHOPE@YAHOO.COM .
For those who are directly or indirectly related to this, we hope that this alternative blog serves as a wake-up call. For those who are known to the persons involved, we hope you can touch your heart and say that you had done the best for all parties.
LASTLY FOR THOSE WHO ARE CONTEMPLATING TO PULL A STUNT LIKE GERALD, LET THIS REMIND YOU THAT GOD HAS EYES, AND THE ONLINE COMMUNITY HAS SEARCH ENGINES.
Unfortunately, due to unknown reasons, Janice has locked up her original blog. However, we feel that the public, or rather the online community, should be aware of Janice and her plight, thus this alternative blog was created.
WE HAVE NO INTENTION TO HARM, HURT, DEFAME OR INSULT ANYONE; ALL INFORMATION ARE EITHER FACTUAL OR BASED ON OBVIOUS DEDUCTIONS. BESIDES ASKING US TO TAKE DOWN THIS BLOG, IF THERE ARE ANY ERRORS IN THE BLOG AND/OR INFORMATION CONTAINED HEREIN, PLEASE EMAIL US AT MYLITTLENEWHOPE@YAHOO.COM .
For those who are directly or indirectly related to this, we hope that this alternative blog serves as a wake-up call. For those who are known to the persons involved, we hope you can touch your heart and say that you had done the best for all parties.
LASTLY FOR THOSE WHO ARE CONTEMPLATING TO PULL A STUNT LIKE GERALD, LET THIS REMIND YOU THAT GOD HAS EYES, AND THE ONLINE COMMUNITY HAS SEARCH ENGINES.
Personalities Involved!!
-------------------------------------------------------------
Husband
Gerald Chua Boon Yong, 31
96746634 *not verified*
Employee, Barclays
Friendster Account: http://profiles.friendster.com/user.php?uid=3690105
*
*
*
-------------------------------------------------------------
Wife
Janice Ng, 30
Banking
Friendster Account: http://profiles.friendster.com/mylittlenewhope
Blog: http://mylittlenewhope.blogspot.com/
"I'll be strong for my baby princess...Me little new hope.. :)"
*
*
*
-------------------------------------------------------------
Family Dog
Hugo, 5
Home Pet
Friendster Account: http://profiles.friendster.com/hugoboyboy
(yes, Hugo has a friendster account! Cute eh...?)
*
*
*
-------------------------------------------------------------
*POSSIBLE* The Other Woman (TOW)
Rowena Chen, ~ 25 to 26
Employee, Barclays
"My internship was spent with the Regional Fund Compliance and Trustee Operations unit. The unit has been most generous in providing various exciting challenges for me throughout my internship. Most importantly, it provided a platform for networking with people of various nationalities across different businesses."
"Today, I am back with Citigroup. The friendly and warm culture is felt throughout and the experience has been most inspiring and motivating. I believe that there will be many more exciting challenges and career advancement opportunities with this world's largest financial services organization."
− Rowena Chen, Bachelor in Business (Banking and Finance), Graduating Class of 2006, NTU
Source: http://jobsfactory.com/ntucareerevents/networking06/profile/citigroup/regionservicecentre.html
According to Janice's blog post on Wednesday, November 7, 2007, "The Other Woman":
"Her name is Rowena Chen... She's a colleague of my husband.. They both join a bank in Raffles Quay in June 2007. They both went to Geneva for training. She has recently ROM and is only 25-26 yrs old. She knew he has a wife and we are expecting our first child. She has her own husband... "
-------------------------------------------------------------
(Disclaimer: It is not 100% confirmed if Ms Rowena Chen above is TOW. Deduction was based on her age, graduating class, and date of joining Citibank. Anyone who believes that this is incorrect and/or has further information, kindly update us at mylittlenewhope@yahoo.com.)
HusbandGerald Chua Boon Yong, 31
96746634 *not verified*
Employee, Barclays
Friendster Account: http://profiles.friendster.com/user.php?uid=3690105
*
*
*
-------------------------------------------------------------
WifeJanice Ng, 30
Banking
Friendster Account: http://profiles.friendster.com/mylittlenewhope
Blog: http://mylittlenewhope.blogspot.com/
"I'll be strong for my baby princess...Me little new hope.. :)"
*
*
*
-------------------------------------------------------------
Family DogHugo, 5
Home Pet
Friendster Account: http://profiles.friendster.com/hugoboyboy
(yes, Hugo has a friendster account! Cute eh...?)
*
*
*
-------------------------------------------------------------
*POSSIBLE* The Other Woman (TOW)Rowena Chen, ~ 25 to 26
Employee, Barclays
"My internship was spent with the Regional Fund Compliance and Trustee Operations unit. The unit has been most generous in providing various exciting challenges for me throughout my internship. Most importantly, it provided a platform for networking with people of various nationalities across different businesses."
"Today, I am back with Citigroup. The friendly and warm culture is felt throughout and the experience has been most inspiring and motivating. I believe that there will be many more exciting challenges and career advancement opportunities with this world's largest financial services organization."
− Rowena Chen, Bachelor in Business (Banking and Finance), Graduating Class of 2006, NTU
Source: http://jobsfactory.com/ntucareerevents/networking06/profile/citigroup/regionservicecentre.html
According to Janice's blog post on Wednesday, November 7, 2007, "The Other Woman":
"Her name is Rowena Chen... She's a colleague of my husband.. They both join a bank in Raffles Quay in June 2007. They both went to Geneva for training. She has recently ROM and is only 25-26 yrs old. She knew he has a wife and we are expecting our first child. She has her own husband... "
-------------------------------------------------------------
(Disclaimer: It is not 100% confirmed if Ms Rowena Chen above is TOW. Deduction was based on her age, graduating class, and date of joining Citibank. Anyone who believes that this is incorrect and/or has further information, kindly update us at mylittlenewhope@yahoo.com.)
mylittlenewhope's Last Words Before Blog Lock-Up
Dear all supporters..
I'm really quite taken aback by the many responses..
Many thanks to you all for your encouragement and support.
This blog is for me to pour out my sadness and pain only and to express my feelings...
I do not have the intention to hurt my hubby or the other woman. Since they have already chosen to be with each other and there's no more turning back between him and myself, I'm trying very hard to move on and leave the sad past behind. Just that sometimes.. reality seems to drift in and out for me...
Though i cannot forgive him for leaving me and my little unborn child.. :(
i felt so bad that so many people are scolding him. I still loves him very much but there's no point...I have no more faith and trust in him and he's not even looking back.. Going forward, I'll update more on my little princess progress and will focus on more positive thoughts.
I'm really quite taken aback by the many responses..
Many thanks to you all for your encouragement and support.
This blog is for me to pour out my sadness and pain only and to express my feelings...
I do not have the intention to hurt my hubby or the other woman. Since they have already chosen to be with each other and there's no more turning back between him and myself, I'm trying very hard to move on and leave the sad past behind. Just that sometimes.. reality seems to drift in and out for me...
Though i cannot forgive him for leaving me and my little unborn child.. :(
i felt so bad that so many people are scolding him. I still loves him very much but there's no point...I have no more faith and trust in him and he's not even looking back.. Going forward, I'll update more on my little princess progress and will focus on more positive thoughts.
Our Wedding...
We held our wedding on 11th/12th June 2006... we were so happy then... So many people gave us their blessings ... He told me before our march in that "this is the happiest day in his entire life"... However... Now it's all in the past....
Japan trip in Dec 2006
My younger sister-in-law - Karen's and Hugo's birthday on 17th June 2007...
Hugo is 7 years old. It is also the no. of years since our ROM... we were all so happy before he left for Geneva in July... I was 3 mths pregnant then...
Everything that has happened after his business trip seemed like a very bad nightmare except that it is not a dream after all... Reality seems to sink in and out for me... My tummy is now very very big and it's getting more and more heavy and difficult to sleep at night. Sometimes, there's no more hurt and anger but only sadness...
He smsed me that he has move on... I heard from my mother-in-law that he's applying for overseas posting...i know that the girl and him will go together if he really gets the posting... I know all this shouldn't matter to me anymore... but i'm human afterall... just feel so sad all over again...
Little princess has been moving a lot in my tummy and she telling me to be strong... I promise to her that i will love and treasure her and ensure she'll lives a happy life... life goes on without him but to date...i suppose i have gained a lot more than what i have lost... My life will not be just him alone anymore... it'll be for my families and friends and my little new hope and lots more to come... ;)
Japan trip in Dec 2006
My younger sister-in-law - Karen's and Hugo's birthday on 17th June 2007...
Hugo is 7 years old. It is also the no. of years since our ROM... we were all so happy before he left for Geneva in July... I was 3 mths pregnant then...
Everything that has happened after his business trip seemed like a very bad nightmare except that it is not a dream after all... Reality seems to sink in and out for me... My tummy is now very very big and it's getting more and more heavy and difficult to sleep at night. Sometimes, there's no more hurt and anger but only sadness...
He smsed me that he has move on... I heard from my mother-in-law that he's applying for overseas posting...i know that the girl and him will go together if he really gets the posting... I know all this shouldn't matter to me anymore... but i'm human afterall... just feel so sad all over again...
Little princess has been moving a lot in my tummy and she telling me to be strong... I promise to her that i will love and treasure her and ensure she'll lives a happy life... life goes on without him but to date...i suppose i have gained a lot more than what i have lost... My life will not be just him alone anymore... it'll be for my families and friends and my little new hope and lots more to come... ;)
Leaving On A Jet Plane
I came across the below and it really describe my state of mind for now...
Quote
It takes a minute to have a crush on someone,
An hour to like someone,
And a day to love someone,
but it could takes a long time to forget someone.
It’s so hard to say I love you and not draw back in tears
It’s so hard to know that you are not there to help me face my fears
It’s so hard to know that the phone is at reach but I cannot hear your voice
It’s so hard to see you laughing when I’m crying deep inside
It’s so hard to remember those feelings we had and now I have to make them hide
It’s so hard to go to sleep at night when you are not by my side
It’s so hard to acknowledge that you have fallen in love with someone new
It’s so hard to hold back tears when I hear our favourite songs
It’s so hard to understand why you choose to abandon me just like that
After all we have been together through thick and thin for so many years
And it’s so hard for me to know that you are willing to let go just like that.
If I have know that you can have a change of heart so easily and effortlessly,
I wish I have never met you, know you and love you all so deeply cos
Nothing can be more painful than realising that you had moved on but I haven’t.....
Unquote
Thanks to those that leave comments for me to Jia You and be strong. It's really not easy but i know i can do it with time... It's really not easy to just let go and pretend that everything is going to be fine from now on. But i know at least i'm lucky to have friends and family members supporting and encouraging me to face reality.
I'm have gone back to work and will continue to channel all my focus in my work, my health and my little new hope. Wish that my little new hope will continue to grow well and healthy in my tummy and waiting for us all to welcome her to earth come Jan 2008. **can't wait to post pics of her in my arms ;)**
Thank you to all my dear friends, family members and supporters!! I'm really greatful to u all and appreciates all your care and concern shown towards me during my most difficult period." A really big THANK YOU!! *^__^*
Quote
It takes a minute to have a crush on someone,
An hour to like someone,
And a day to love someone,
but it could takes a long time to forget someone.
It’s so hard to say I love you and not draw back in tears
It’s so hard to know that you are not there to help me face my fears
It’s so hard to know that the phone is at reach but I cannot hear your voice
It’s so hard to see you laughing when I’m crying deep inside
It’s so hard to remember those feelings we had and now I have to make them hide
It’s so hard to go to sleep at night when you are not by my side
It’s so hard to acknowledge that you have fallen in love with someone new
It’s so hard to hold back tears when I hear our favourite songs
It’s so hard to understand why you choose to abandon me just like that
After all we have been together through thick and thin for so many years
And it’s so hard for me to know that you are willing to let go just like that.
If I have know that you can have a change of heart so easily and effortlessly,
I wish I have never met you, know you and love you all so deeply cos
Nothing can be more painful than realising that you had moved on but I haven’t.....
Unquote
Thanks to those that leave comments for me to Jia You and be strong. It's really not easy but i know i can do it with time... It's really not easy to just let go and pretend that everything is going to be fine from now on. But i know at least i'm lucky to have friends and family members supporting and encouraging me to face reality.
I'm have gone back to work and will continue to channel all my focus in my work, my health and my little new hope. Wish that my little new hope will continue to grow well and healthy in my tummy and waiting for us all to welcome her to earth come Jan 2008. **can't wait to post pics of her in my arms ;)**
Thank you to all my dear friends, family members and supporters!! I'm really greatful to u all and appreciates all your care and concern shown towards me during my most difficult period." A really big THANK YOU!! *^__^*
The Other Woman
Her name is Rowena Chen... She's a colleague of my husband.. They both join a bank in Raffles Quay in June 2007. They both went to Geneva for training. She has recently ROM and is only 25-26 yrs old. She knew he has a wife and we are expecting our first child. She has her own husband...
I know i cannot blame you totally as it takes 2 hands to clap.. but don't act as if you are the innocence victim.. I am the victim, my unborn child is the victim, my in-laws, sister-in-laws, my family are the victims. Your husband, his family and your family are the victims. All of us are the victims except the 2 of you. Both of you should be ashame for what you have done to bring so much pains, hurts, suffering and agonies to all our families...
U as a woman should know how it feels to see your husband with another woman.. U have your own husband.. if you are not happy with him..u should grow up and sort things out with him..not vent your sorrow to my husband and vice versa.. you are both cowards and full of excuses for your sins.
U can do this to your husband now.. and my husband can do this to me and our unborn child.. the 2 of you are really perfect for each other.. However, just bear in mind that what's goes round, comes around. U can take my part and continue to help him pay all the bills and debts from now on.. He can give u all his love like he did to me 8 yrs ago in exchange for your freedom, trust, independence, to endure his temper and money. I will not feel shameful to become a single mother and a divorcee as i am clear with my conscience. I have done my part dutifully as a wife, a daughter-in-law, a daughter, a sister-in-law and future mother. I have brought his family together for the past years till both of you destroyed the happiness that i painstakingly build up.
Just bear in mind that people will know what the 2 of you have done.. u will always be the other woman in our eyes and the worse kind who left her own husband for another's husband.
I know i cannot blame you totally as it takes 2 hands to clap.. but don't act as if you are the innocence victim.. I am the victim, my unborn child is the victim, my in-laws, sister-in-laws, my family are the victims. Your husband, his family and your family are the victims. All of us are the victims except the 2 of you. Both of you should be ashame for what you have done to bring so much pains, hurts, suffering and agonies to all our families...
U as a woman should know how it feels to see your husband with another woman.. U have your own husband.. if you are not happy with him..u should grow up and sort things out with him..not vent your sorrow to my husband and vice versa.. you are both cowards and full of excuses for your sins.
U can do this to your husband now.. and my husband can do this to me and our unborn child.. the 2 of you are really perfect for each other.. However, just bear in mind that what's goes round, comes around. U can take my part and continue to help him pay all the bills and debts from now on.. He can give u all his love like he did to me 8 yrs ago in exchange for your freedom, trust, independence, to endure his temper and money. I will not feel shameful to become a single mother and a divorcee as i am clear with my conscience. I have done my part dutifully as a wife, a daughter-in-law, a daughter, a sister-in-law and future mother. I have brought his family together for the past years till both of you destroyed the happiness that i painstakingly build up.
Just bear in mind that people will know what the 2 of you have done.. u will always be the other woman in our eyes and the worse kind who left her own husband for another's husband.
The Chain of Events...
We knew each other since our poly days... ROM in year 2000, studied in Perth from 2001 - 2003, travelled a lot and held our traditional wedding on 11th June 2006.
Everything was like fairytale. He treated me very well all these years. I gave him all my trust, love and support. We were the perfect couple that many others envy. We renovated our house, held our wedding dinner, brought a car, have great jobs and looking forward to the birth of our little new hope to complete our life...
He found a new job in June 2007... and it required him to travel to Geneva for business training in July for 3 weeks... I encouraged him to go as i knew he loves to travel even though i was in my first trimester and was always unwell... He worried that I'll have to travel to work alone and might not cope without him.. I'm sad that he will be away for 3 weeks.. but i know what he's doing then is for our future.. and he smsed me the following after i sent him off at the airport on 8th July 2007:
"I'm in the lounge... Got sandwich.... And tofu.... U no sad sad.... Seeing u cry.... I feel very down... I want to provide u with the best.... And let u do whatever u want... So that u can choose ur longing path without worry... That's y i chose this route."
We videocam each other every morning before i left for work.. i misses him lots and i can see he misses us too... I told him that my stomach is growing bigger by the day and we can't wait for daddy to come home.. Finally, he returned on 28th July 2007. He promised to give me a big hug once he sees me... but..he did not.. i can sensed that he hurriedly wanted to get out of the airport and was quite short tempered. He did gave me a big hug when we were home though after i reminded him...
From then on... things just got more and more strange.. i chosen to ignore it as i thought it might be due to my pregnancy and i might be thinking too much...
Suddenly..he needs to do daily night exercise without fail every night.. This is so unlikely of him.. he will always want to spend all his time with me..but now.. he needs time to be alone.. but i let him cos i do not wish to restrict him due to me not being able to exercise with him while i'm pregnant... But it went to an extend that when i ask him to just stay at home for 1 night to accompany me.. he'll thinks that i'm not giving him his freedom and i'm asking too much and he even didn't want to accompany me for a short walk downstairs... from then on, we'll keep arguing about this issues.
I knew something was not right... when i addressed my concern to him.. he just brushed it off that i might be having pre-natal depression. My bao bei won't do things to hurt me...that's what i told myself. However, when he started saying insensitive remarks to me as in "can you walk faster" and "when you are in pain, there's nothing i can do for you" etc, which left me really shock and in disbelief that such words can came from my bao bei's mouth... Then he told me he wants to be alone.. he needs his privacy and i cannot access to his handphone anymore, not answering my calls etc, which in our many years of marriage, never happens before.
I was really depressed, confused, helpless and hurt by all his strange behavior... All these while, i've been trying to figure out what went wrong.. he can even start to say things like i force him to have this baby etc.. Whenever i tried to ask him on my doubts, he'll be angry that i asked so many questions and simply offer no solution for me and didn't even intend to work things out and told me he just wants to be alone.. if not..he'll put all the blame to me by saying he cannot stand me anymore etc... To conclude.. he just want out without giving me any proper explanation...
All these while..he can look me in the eyes..and told me there isn't someone else.. and if there's indeed someone else..he'll let me know... and i really trusted him.. after i found out his love sms to this girl, i still chose to believe him... after i found out the love note from the girl to him.. i still chose to believe him... When i was in the hospital... he told me they were just friend... i still chose to believe him.. Things were all so clear then..but i still chose to believe my bao bei would not abandon me and our little new hope for someone he met only in June when he started his new job...
She was his colleague..they went training in Geneva together.. She's staying in Tampines as well... She ROM recently... things just gets clearer from then on... bits and pieces just started to fall into place... My Bao bei told me he got to work late and i have to take mrt back and not to wait for him.. he never let me travel alone when he's ard.. yet..now he doesn't even bother to ask where am i..if i have reached home safely or did anyone offer me a seat etc... so that he can go out with this woman after work and send her home instead.. and visit her again on his daily night exercise... He can go out with me and suddenly told me he wanted to be alone.. ask me to wait for him to come home... so that he can go to this woman at her becks and calls... he can let this woman reply to my sms when i need to respect his privacy and not access to his hp...he can told me that he's sick of seeing my crying face and felt weak when the other woman cry in front of him...
After i told him i knew about this woman.. he can still defends her... that they are just friend.. they only held hands and kiss... all these while..i'm the one struggling to salvage our marriage by willing to forgive him if he were to turn back.. begging him to think of our unborn child, my in-laws, his sisters... to at least do something to save our marriage... he kept telling me he just wish to be alone and since there's no more trust in our marriage.. we should just go our separate ways... it's really just broke my heart in millions pieces and i just slip further into depression to a point that i can feel my little new hope dying inside me too..
To the extend, for us to be together, i must break ties with me sister and not to involve him in my family matters... I waited for him for more than 3 hrs at our tampines home knowing he's out with the woman again and he'll give me a proper explanation once he's home... and yet he can still stands tall and utter this kind of request for reconciliation... I suddenly realised that he have no intention to save our marriage at all... he have all along chosen the other woman.. he don't want me and baby anymore..
He's a total stranger to me... he has become a changed man in just 3 months time when he have a change of heart.. he's so selfish and self centered that he only think of himself and not our future, his parents, sisters, our family and our unborn child... He's just so cruel, heartless and evil...
Now i can only move on.. i have already done all i can to salvage my marriage...I'm very tire... physically, emotionally, financially and mentally... Never in my life i'll expect these to happen to me.. to become a single mother..a divorce status and not being able to be with bao bei till old and not able to provide a happy family for my little new hope.. I know i need to be strong for my little princess for now.. So sorry that mammy caused u to suffer even before you land on earth.. Mammy will be strong for you from now on and pray that you'll be healthy when u see this world... no matter what.. my little new hope is the innocence one.. and I'll been seeing her soon and be able to protect her and held her tightly in my arms... She's what i have left after all these years...
Many thanks to my parents, sister, brothers and friends... for being there... to give me strength to face each and every new day.. and to welcome my little new hope in 2 months time.. Thank you.
Everything was like fairytale. He treated me very well all these years. I gave him all my trust, love and support. We were the perfect couple that many others envy. We renovated our house, held our wedding dinner, brought a car, have great jobs and looking forward to the birth of our little new hope to complete our life...
He found a new job in June 2007... and it required him to travel to Geneva for business training in July for 3 weeks... I encouraged him to go as i knew he loves to travel even though i was in my first trimester and was always unwell... He worried that I'll have to travel to work alone and might not cope without him.. I'm sad that he will be away for 3 weeks.. but i know what he's doing then is for our future.. and he smsed me the following after i sent him off at the airport on 8th July 2007:
"I'm in the lounge... Got sandwich.... And tofu.... U no sad sad.... Seeing u cry.... I feel very down... I want to provide u with the best.... And let u do whatever u want... So that u can choose ur longing path without worry... That's y i chose this route."
We videocam each other every morning before i left for work.. i misses him lots and i can see he misses us too... I told him that my stomach is growing bigger by the day and we can't wait for daddy to come home.. Finally, he returned on 28th July 2007. He promised to give me a big hug once he sees me... but..he did not.. i can sensed that he hurriedly wanted to get out of the airport and was quite short tempered. He did gave me a big hug when we were home though after i reminded him...
From then on... things just got more and more strange.. i chosen to ignore it as i thought it might be due to my pregnancy and i might be thinking too much...
Suddenly..he needs to do daily night exercise without fail every night.. This is so unlikely of him.. he will always want to spend all his time with me..but now.. he needs time to be alone.. but i let him cos i do not wish to restrict him due to me not being able to exercise with him while i'm pregnant... But it went to an extend that when i ask him to just stay at home for 1 night to accompany me.. he'll thinks that i'm not giving him his freedom and i'm asking too much and he even didn't want to accompany me for a short walk downstairs... from then on, we'll keep arguing about this issues.
I knew something was not right... when i addressed my concern to him.. he just brushed it off that i might be having pre-natal depression. My bao bei won't do things to hurt me...that's what i told myself. However, when he started saying insensitive remarks to me as in "can you walk faster" and "when you are in pain, there's nothing i can do for you" etc, which left me really shock and in disbelief that such words can came from my bao bei's mouth... Then he told me he wants to be alone.. he needs his privacy and i cannot access to his handphone anymore, not answering my calls etc, which in our many years of marriage, never happens before.
I was really depressed, confused, helpless and hurt by all his strange behavior... All these while, i've been trying to figure out what went wrong.. he can even start to say things like i force him to have this baby etc.. Whenever i tried to ask him on my doubts, he'll be angry that i asked so many questions and simply offer no solution for me and didn't even intend to work things out and told me he just wants to be alone.. if not..he'll put all the blame to me by saying he cannot stand me anymore etc... To conclude.. he just want out without giving me any proper explanation...
All these while..he can look me in the eyes..and told me there isn't someone else.. and if there's indeed someone else..he'll let me know... and i really trusted him.. after i found out his love sms to this girl, i still chose to believe him... after i found out the love note from the girl to him.. i still chose to believe him... When i was in the hospital... he told me they were just friend... i still chose to believe him.. Things were all so clear then..but i still chose to believe my bao bei would not abandon me and our little new hope for someone he met only in June when he started his new job...
She was his colleague..they went training in Geneva together.. She's staying in Tampines as well... She ROM recently... things just gets clearer from then on... bits and pieces just started to fall into place... My Bao bei told me he got to work late and i have to take mrt back and not to wait for him.. he never let me travel alone when he's ard.. yet..now he doesn't even bother to ask where am i..if i have reached home safely or did anyone offer me a seat etc... so that he can go out with this woman after work and send her home instead.. and visit her again on his daily night exercise... He can go out with me and suddenly told me he wanted to be alone.. ask me to wait for him to come home... so that he can go to this woman at her becks and calls... he can let this woman reply to my sms when i need to respect his privacy and not access to his hp...he can told me that he's sick of seeing my crying face and felt weak when the other woman cry in front of him...
After i told him i knew about this woman.. he can still defends her... that they are just friend.. they only held hands and kiss... all these while..i'm the one struggling to salvage our marriage by willing to forgive him if he were to turn back.. begging him to think of our unborn child, my in-laws, his sisters... to at least do something to save our marriage... he kept telling me he just wish to be alone and since there's no more trust in our marriage.. we should just go our separate ways... it's really just broke my heart in millions pieces and i just slip further into depression to a point that i can feel my little new hope dying inside me too..
To the extend, for us to be together, i must break ties with me sister and not to involve him in my family matters... I waited for him for more than 3 hrs at our tampines home knowing he's out with the woman again and he'll give me a proper explanation once he's home... and yet he can still stands tall and utter this kind of request for reconciliation... I suddenly realised that he have no intention to save our marriage at all... he have all along chosen the other woman.. he don't want me and baby anymore..
He's a total stranger to me... he has become a changed man in just 3 months time when he have a change of heart.. he's so selfish and self centered that he only think of himself and not our future, his parents, sisters, our family and our unborn child... He's just so cruel, heartless and evil...
Now i can only move on.. i have already done all i can to salvage my marriage...I'm very tire... physically, emotionally, financially and mentally... Never in my life i'll expect these to happen to me.. to become a single mother..a divorce status and not being able to be with bao bei till old and not able to provide a happy family for my little new hope.. I know i need to be strong for my little princess for now.. So sorry that mammy caused u to suffer even before you land on earth.. Mammy will be strong for you from now on and pray that you'll be healthy when u see this world... no matter what.. my little new hope is the innocence one.. and I'll been seeing her soon and be able to protect her and held her tightly in my arms... She's what i have left after all these years...
Many thanks to my parents, sister, brothers and friends... for being there... to give me strength to face each and every new day.. and to welcome my little new hope in 2 months time.. Thank you.
Unforgivable Pains & Hurts
I gave this advice to someone not long ago..
"Wat's yours will be yours again one day.. Wat's not meant to be.. let the wind brings it far far away.. It's all easier said than done.. Time will heal all wounds..and having faith will bring u happiness in time to come.. all words are deep in your heart.. memories will be forever..."
Now I'm the one needing this advice. And it's indeed easier to say than done. I just wish i do not have the memories part..so that I'll not be in so much pain and hurt..However, I will never forget this journey.. it will only serve me to become stronger than ever and it will remind me that i really cannot forgive someone who's that cruel and heartless and till this day not brave to admit his own mistake. Someone who's family ties is nothing to him at all..someone who's so selfish and self centered that even his own blood and flesh is a burden to him. And yet, I can still pin on to that tiny little hope that that someone will turn back and look at us all despite all these evils.. I was so wrong..so very wrong..I rather i have not known someone at all..
I just hope that I'll be stronger each passing day till my healthy little princess lands safety on earth and be my pride and joy from then on. She'll be my Little New Hope forever...
"Wat's yours will be yours again one day.. Wat's not meant to be.. let the wind brings it far far away.. It's all easier said than done.. Time will heal all wounds..and having faith will bring u happiness in time to come.. all words are deep in your heart.. memories will be forever..."
Now I'm the one needing this advice. And it's indeed easier to say than done. I just wish i do not have the memories part..so that I'll not be in so much pain and hurt..However, I will never forget this journey.. it will only serve me to become stronger than ever and it will remind me that i really cannot forgive someone who's that cruel and heartless and till this day not brave to admit his own mistake. Someone who's family ties is nothing to him at all..someone who's so selfish and self centered that even his own blood and flesh is a burden to him. And yet, I can still pin on to that tiny little hope that that someone will turn back and look at us all despite all these evils.. I was so wrong..so very wrong..I rather i have not known someone at all..
I just hope that I'll be stronger each passing day till my healthy little princess lands safety on earth and be my pride and joy from then on. She'll be my Little New Hope forever...
Misses
I really misses you a lot.. what's is happening to you? You chosen to forsake me at the time i needed you most.. You totally changed to a person i'm not familiar with anymore.. Please come back to me and baby.. We really need you.. Now that i'm about to due.. i really need you by my side to comfort me and sayang me. I really love you lots and i miss u...
Thoughts
So much have happened for the past few months...just some thoughts..
Changes..
lots of changes..
changes i cannot understand..
no explanation...
lost and confused and helpless..
the person i needed most is no longer there or me..
Tears...
lots of it..
sickness...mentally and physically..
nightmares and waiting games...waited a lot...waited for time to turnback or fast forward..
Patience..which i'm lacked of..trying to build up..
hopes...hoping that all will fall into place soon..
hoping it'll all be over soon...
the light is at the end of the tunnel...
i'll just have to find my strength and courage to move forward..
Thanks for those who stands by me and the care and concern extended to me.. and to the person i needed most...i dunno how much longer i can wait..
Changes..
lots of changes..
changes i cannot understand..
no explanation...
lost and confused and helpless..
the person i needed most is no longer there or me..
Tears...
lots of it..
sickness...mentally and physically..
nightmares and waiting games...waited a lot...waited for time to turnback or fast forward..
Patience..which i'm lacked of..trying to build up..
hopes...hoping that all will fall into place soon..
hoping it'll all be over soon...
the light is at the end of the tunnel...
i'll just have to find my strength and courage to move forward..
Thanks for those who stands by me and the care and concern extended to me.. and to the person i needed most...i dunno how much longer i can wait..
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